As I spend most of my socials online time on Github and PHP-related discussion, I've noticed many people do so many wrong things while giving critics.
I want to correct this once and for all, so I've prepared a guide for you.
This is very easy step that many people can handle. Just pick something wrong in a project, or content and point it out. Rush to create that issue! Also, comment only thing, where is no request for critics or feedback. The worst think you can do is actually help the person who want some feedback.
No "hello" or "hi", never use a surname and NEVER use a name. Just write right away what is wrong, that's the only thing that matters. Some example:
Minitip: Judge Others
As a senior programmer you have right to say what is right and wrong. You should be clear and right to the point. Only that way the other person knows what is this about and can do something about that.
"this is definitely wrong"
Minitip: Point out the Other person is Below You
If that would be another way, he or she would not need a correction, right?
When you get a response like this, it is usually very rude like for no reason:
You only are trying to help the second person to stop being to stupid. The author is only pretending he doesn't know. But luckily you are smarter than him to recognize it!
If the other doesn't want to listen, he or she probably didn't read our comments clearly. Who can blame them, it's today's world full of social media distractions (and alcohol and drugs!). There is no better solution than point that out.
In case you have mood for long essays:
If you have bless mood, you can write it explicitly for those with attention disorder:
As our mission is to educate others about their mistakes, thus we should always provide a source of knowledge.
Today, we have Google, so there is no need to use actual link. Everybody can google now. And if they don't, they're stupid and they should learn that first.
Minitip: Use Shortcuts To Save Time
All people in the field know all the shortuts you do - they're programmers after all - so why not use them so save time in conversation and your elbows.
Again, do not add any links, Google can handle it for you.
You know the best (as your mama and papa told you) - never forget that. And if other try to change your mind, they probably don't know a thing.Stick to your believes and don't let anyone to question it.
You're the most objective person there could be, so use it. That's what intelligent means!
Because many people are missing parenting, you're here for them to help them with raising to proper senior programmer. Always, tell the other person what to do or how the world works. It's objective true. How can you be subjective if you're human. Asking is sign of not-knowing and weakness.
To make conversion faster, always talks about your final ideas. There is not time to provide motivation reason, how you conclude it and all that life story of yours. It's obvious already and he should know it. Or just google it.
And so on... you get the gist.
As you probably guessed, this post is written in sarcasm language.
I got inspired by Derek Muller, known as author of Verritasium, with "start with misconceptions first". This list describes just few of misconceptions on feedback topic I found on Github during my open-source career. If you know any more, just tell me in the comments ("you forgot some").
If you know Czech, you can check my talk Jako Vinnetou a Old Shatterhand – refaktoruj nenávist v přátelství from PHPLive 2016, where I address similar topic between 2 PHP frameworks.
After misconceptions we can move to really what matters - emphatic feedback. Once I read a post about people with of 30+ years long and happy marriages:
We have a strong feeling, that when we point out mistakes we see at other people, they will change that.
It nails it! So what I'm trying to do apart inversion of all the 8 points above to make my online/offline feedback communication better?
Do you enjoy parenting and patronizing? Neither do I. So when I give feedback, I try to find out first if the other person is even open to some.
There is small trick to do that:
Giving advices is just talking to your younger self.
I know this is not easy to hear, but giving feedback is partially just projection of the one who gives the feedback. Even now, when I'm writing this post, I frustrated with something else. I'm frustrated by educational systems and misconceptions it teaches people.
If you know your real motivation, you can work it much better and be able to give the other person not the information that you're frustrated with but information that he or she really wants.
No, this is not a dinosaur nor air fighter.
If you want to persuade someone, start in a friendly way.
You can find this quote in all books on persuasion. I didn't know about this for a long time, so I started with rationalization arguments:
This only forces the other for defense, even if you don't want him to:
Sorry brain! Instead, you can make a rapport - a short term friendship if you like.
Be curious: "What do you mean by "this is too complicated"? What part exactly is too complicated?"
Relate to the his or her point of view: "I agree you might have problems reading this, since it's your first time and I use this for over 3 years and know it by heart."
"I'm objective", a human said.
When one person claims something, it's usually his own personal experience wrapped into cognitive heuristics.
As people tend to mirror each other's communication, being personal might unlock personal approach of the other person as well.
I'll just reuse the example above (because it shows it already and will keep you more attentive to the detail):
Your feedback and tips are most welcomed as I want to get better in this, so add your comment. Even with sarcastic examples from this post ;).